BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP
The two of you flirted. You started dating. And then things got more serious: you agreed to be in a relationship.
What does this mean?
Being in a relationship can mean different things to different couples. It’s up to the two of you to decide which rules you are going to stick to. This is important because the honeymoon phase will eventually end, and all relationships will face issues at some point.
But even if things get difficult, remember that relationships are about love. And love is all about acceptance. Do keep this in mind whenever your relationship isn’t going so well: the reason you are with this person is love.
What’s important is to have a talk about your expectations. Because only if your partner understands what you expect from a relationship can your needs be met.
Communication
Even though you might not even give it much thought, communication is the number one thing when it comes to relationships.
We think we know how to communicate. But in relationships, especially when it comes to intimate issues, things can get very difficult very quickly.
In the beginning, you might even avoid voicing your thoughts for the fear of not being accepted. But such an approach will eventually backlash on you. Be yourself: if the other person doesn’t like you like this, you can’t fix it by pretending to be someone you’re not.
So establish how you would like to communicate early on; it will make things a lot easier in the long run.
Being faithful
To most people, being in a relationship means that you are ‘exclusive’ and faithful to each other.
That can mean very different things to different couples. You will need to discuss what this means for you. For example, does it mean you can’t hang out with people you might be attracted to? Can’t you hug others anymore? Or is flirting okay – why eat chicken outside when you can have steak at home?
There are no firm rules. What’s important is that whatever you decide upon works for both of you – and that you’re being honest.
Trust and honesty
If you’re in a relationship, you should have a certain level of trust for each other. If you don’t think your partner is being honest with you, or you are not being honest with your partner, you need to decide whether you really want to be in a relationship.
A lack of trust will only lead to nagging and arguments. Which might eventually mean an end to your relationship.
Bring up any concerns you have as soon as they arise – the earlier you can resolve them, the better for your relationship.
Compromise
Relationships are all about give-and-take. Or, in other words: compromise. No relationship is ever without conflict or irritants. And if those arise, you need to talk to your partner and find a way that works for both of you.
Compromising can be difficult, or even painful. But if you want things to work out, sometimes giving in and being patient is the best thing to do.
Talking about the future
At some point in your relationship, you’ll need to discuss your views of the future. Do you see yourself getting married and having children? Perhaps your partner doesn’t. To avoid getting hurt and feeling like you’ve wasted your time, make sure you have this conversation.
Once again, being in a happy, satisfying and equal relationship all comes down to good communication. The more honest you are with each other, the better your chances of having a great relationship.
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